Matthew 5:31-37: “Jesus’ Sermon On The Mount: About Divorce, Making/Keeping Vows”
by
1.
INTRO:
1.1.
Continuing
on in the study of the Sermon On The Mount where Jesus reveals the standard of
righteousness for His kingdom and the kingdom person, we will now look at this
standard regarding two specific areas:
1.1.1. Divorce
1.1.1.1.We will look at what the Bible teaches about the
subject of divorce
1.1.2. Making vows/Keeping your word
1.1.2.1.We will look at whether or not it is OK for us to
swear an oath about something
1.1.2.2.We will also look at the importance of being people
and witnesses for Christ who keep our word
1.2.
In these
verses are topics that are controversial (some Christians and churches disagree
with them) as well as others which are painful for some people to discuss or
even consider, however we as God’s people need to know what God’s Word teaches
regarding these things
1.1.
Regarding
both of these areas, divorce and the act of swearing, We ought to take a long
look at the character of God and His dealings with us
1.1.1. The Christian’s relationship with God is as the
relationship of marriage (we are the bride of Christ, etc), however though we
humans may divorce our spouse, God says that He will never leave us or forsake
us (Heb. 13:5)
1.1.2. The Lord swears and makes commitments to us (as we
will see in the scriptures), however unlike us because He is immutable He never
says He is going to do something and then not do it
2.
VS 5:31-32 - “31 “And it was said, ‘Whoever sends his wife away,
let him give her a certificate of divorce’; 32 but I say to you that everyone who
divorces his wife, except for the cause of unchastity, makes her commit
adultery; and whoever marries a divorced woman commits adultery”” - Jesus confronts the attitude towards divorce
of the Jewish leaders and people
2.1.
Marriage was first
God’s idea and instituted by Him when He caused Adam to fall asleep and
then created Eve from one of Adam’s ribs
(Gen. 2:21-25)
2.1.1. It was God’s plan that a man and a woman live together
for all of their days upon the earth, and that they develop such a unity that
they would actually become “one flesh”
2.1.2. God’s word reveals that marriage was given to man to
show him the type of relationship that God desires to have with him, as it
reveals the depth of love and lifelong commitment of which true “agape” love consists:
2.1.2.1.Eph. 5:28-32, “28 So husbands ought also to love
their own wives as their own bodies. He who loves his own wife loves himself;
29 for no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as
Christ also does the church, 30 because we are members of His body. 31 For this
cause a man shall leave his father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife;
and the two shall become one flesh. 32 This mystery is great; but I am speaking with reference to Christ
and the church”
2.1.2.1.1.Divorce then shatters a married person’s ability to
understand through experience this picture designed by God to reveal the type
of love that He has for them and thus it is important for us in most instances
to avoid divorcing
2.1.2.1.2.Children, who probably suffer the most because of
divorce, also as a result of it lose the ability to understand through their
experience in family life what a loving Father who would never forsake them is
like
2.2.
The most
fundamental element which defines and protects society then is the family, but
since the entering of sin into the world by the fall of man, satan has
constantly been doing what he can through divorce to try and tear down and
destroy the lives of men, women, and children
2.3.
Here Jesus
confronts the popular secular idea of his day of the acceptability of divorce
amongst God’s people, the Jews
2.3.1. In Jesus’ day, the divorce rate was at an all time
high, and families were continually being torn apart by it
2.3.1.1.Jewish men believed that they were justified in
divorcing their wives for any cause at all, and if, for instance, a woman
burned her husband’s food he could immediately divorce her, and this practice
was considered socially acceptable
2.3.1.2.It is interesting that you do not ever hear in
scripture of a Jewish woman divorcing her husband, for the Jewish society was
male chauvenistic in Biblical days, and women were regarded as property of
their husbands and as second class citizens
2.4.
It is also the
case in our day that in our American culture divorce is very commonplace and it
is having a devastating effect upon the lives of children, wives, and husbands,
and also so many today enter into marriage with so little sense of
committment.
2.4.1. More children in
2.4.2. A few years ago one man I heard on a secular radio
program was talking about the huge commitment that marriage requires of a
person and he said that marriage, “was a very intense and prolonged six or
seven years of a person’s life”
2.5.
Jesus teaches
here that if a man divorced his wife for a reason other than ‘unchastity’, that
he makes her commit adultery, and that if a man marries his divorced wife, then
he commits adultery. I believe that the
point in His saying these things is just that divorce causes lots of adultery
to happen
2.6.
Appropriately, in
these verses Jesus took the Jewish leaders to task for they had taken Moses
words in Deut. 24:1-4 to give legal right for a man to divorce his wife on any
grounds, “24:1 “When a man takes a wife and marries her, and it happens that
she finds no favor in his eyes because he has found some indecency in her, and
he writes her a certificate of divorce and puts it in her hand and sends her
out from his house, 2 and she leaves his house and goes and becomes another
man’s wife, 3 and if the latter husband turns against her and writes her a
certificate of divorce and puts it in her hand and sends her out of his house,
or if the latter husband dies who took her to be his wife, 4 then her former
husband who sent her away is not allowed to take her again to be his wife,
since she has been defiled; for that is an abomination before the Lord, and you
shall not bring sin on the land which the Lord your God gives you as an
inheritance”
2.6.1. When Moses wrote these verses in Deuteronomy, he was
not writing it to condone divorce, rather he was writing to show that if a man
divorced his wife and she married another man, he should never be able to marry
her again since to do so would be an abomination to the Lord
2.6.2. It was never God’s perfect will that men and women
should divorce each other, and the Old Testament did not teach one standard
concerning divorce and the New Testament another. For instance:
2.6.2.1.Jesus taught (Matthew 19:3-9) that divorce was never
God’s intention for husbands and wives
2.6.2.2.Malachi 2:16 teaches us that God hates divorce
2.6.3. In Jer. 3:1, Jeremiah wrote that if it was not right
that a man remarry his his wife who has left him and married another, if she
should return, then how is it that God’s people place other gods ahead of the
Lord and then return to Him and He receives them back again?, “3:1 GOD says,
“If a husband divorces his wife, And she goes from him, And belongs to another
man, Will he still return to her? Will
not that land be completely polluted? But you are a harlot with many lovers; Yet you turn to Me,” declares the Lord”
2.6.4. In Matthew 19:3-9, the Pharisees on one occassion came
to Jesus in order to test Him, and they asked Him a question about divorce, and
Jesus in His response told them that it was not God’s perfect will that men and
women divorce, but only that God in His mercy had allowed of His permissive
will them to do it because of the hard hearts, “3 And some Pharisees came to
Him, testing Him, and saying, “Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for
any cause at all?” 4 And He answered and said, “Have you not read, that He who
created them from the beginning made them male and female, 5 and said, ‘For
this cause a man shall leave his father and mother, and shall cleave to his
wife; and the two shall become one flesh’? 6 “Consequently they are no longer
two, but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let no man
separate.” 7 They *said to Him, “Why then did Moses command to give her a
certificate of divorce and send her away?” 8 He *said to them, “Because of your
hardness of heart, Moses permitted you to divorce your wives; but from the
beginning it has not been this way. 9 “And I say to you, whoever divorces his
wife, except for immorality, and marries another woman commits adultery.””
2.6.5. In Mark 10:4-9, Jesus further revealed that since in
marriage the Lord joins the man and woman together to become “one flesh”, that
according to God’s perfect intention and will no one should ever separate them,
“4 And they said, “Moses permitted a man to write a certificate of divorce
and send her away.” 5 But Jesus said to them, “Because of your hardness of
heart he wrote you this commandment. 6 “But from the beginning of creation, God
made them male and female. 7 “For this cause a man shall leave his father and
mother, 8 and the two shall become one flesh; consequently they are no longer
two, but one flesh. 9 “What therefore God has joined together, let no man
separate.””
2.6.5.1.Siamese twins are babies that are connected together
from birth, and they can be surgically separated, but the problem there is that
doing so will always cause both to be damaged.
Likewise, a husband and wife who have been made “one flesh” through
marriage can divorce however both parties will be greatly damaged in doing so. This is not God’s will.
2.7.
In these verses
here, Jesus says that there is one reason for which one is permitted before God
to divorce, and that is for the cause of ‘unchastity’ (translated ‘fornication’
in other translations)
2.8.
Strong’s gives
the following entry for this word translated as ‘unchastity’ here: 4202 porneia
{ por-ni’-ah} from 4203; TDNT - 6:579,918; n f AV - fornication 26; 26 GK - 4518 { porneia
} 1) illicit sexual intercourse 1a) adultery, fornication, homosexuality,
lesbianism, intercourse with animals etc.
1b) sexual intercourse with close relatives;
Lev. 18 1c) sexual intercourse with a divorced man
or woman; Mk. 10:11,12 2) metaph.
the worship of idols 2a) of the defilement of idolatry, as incurred
by eating the sacrifices offered to idols”
2.8.1. This word is used in the New Testament to refer to any
kind of sex that is outside of monogamous marriage
2.8.1.1.Therefore, Jesus is saying that if your spouse is
having a sexual relationship of any type with any type of person or creature
besides you that you are permitted by God to be able to divorce him
2.8.2. Jesus does not say here that you “have to” or “should”
divorce your spouse if he or she becomes unfaithful to you, for God does not
command it, but rather that God because of His mercy will “permissively” allow you
to do it, and you will not have sinned if you do so
2.8.2.1.It would be better in many situations if a spouse
chose to forgive his or her partner for unfaithfulness rather than take this
option out of the marriage since being able to forgive sin such as this type of
betrayal will cause a tremendous amount of godly fruit in both persons’ lives
and bring them both to be much more like Jesus
2.8.2.2.If your spouse has been unfaithful, you need to pray
and seek the Lord’s leading regarding divorce, and you should not do anything
until you are sure that the Lord is leading you in it
2.9.
In 1 Cor.
7:12-15, Paul gives the only other acceptable reason given in the Bible for
divorcing a spouse, that of the unbelieving spouse choosing to leave you, “12 But
to the rest I say, not the Lord, that if any brother has a wife who is an
unbeliever, and she consents to live with him, let him not send her away. 13
And a woman who has an unbelieving husband, and he consents to live with her,
let her not send her husband away. 14 For the unbelieving husband is sanctified
through his wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified through her believing
husband; for otherwise your children are unclean, but now they are holy. 15 Yet
if the unbelieving one leaves, let him leave; the brother or the sister is not
under bondage in such cases, but God has called us to peace”
2.10. One question arises then: “If a person has a scriptural divorce (for
the cause of adultery of a spouse or an unbelieving spouse leaving), is he or
she then free to remarry?”
2.10.1.This verse in 1 Cor. 7:12-15 says that the brother or
sister in Christ is “no longer in bondage” to the unbelieving spouse if they
choose to leave the marriage, and this seems to intimate that the brother or
sister is then free to remarry
2.10.2.The Bible does not directly say that a Christian whose
spouse commits adultery is free to remarry, but it doesn’t say you can’t
remarry either
2.10.2.1.I would have to say that I believe that if a person
has a scripture reason for a divorce that the person is also then free to
remarry
2.10.3.In 1 Cor. 7:10-11, Paul writes that should a beliver
leave his or her spouse that they should not remarry, and it is intimated that
the spouse is also a believer, but this verse refers to separation and
reconciliation rather than divorce, “10 But to the married I give
instructions, not I, but the Lord, that the wife should not leave her husband
11 (but if she does leave, let her remain unmarried, or else be reconciled to
her husband), and that the husband should not send his wife away”
2.10.4.In 1 Cor. 7:39, Paul writes that if a believer should
have his or her spouse die, that he or she is free to remarry, only he or she
should marry another Christian, “39 A wife is bound as long as her husband
lives; but if her husband is dead, she is free to be married to whom she wishes,
only in the Lord”
2.11. According to 2 Cor. 6:14-16, a believer should be
bound together with unbelievers and thus in every case should he marry he
should do so with another believer, “14 Do not be bound together with
unbelievers; for what partnership have righteousness and lawlessness, or what
fellowship has light with darkness? 15 Or what harmony has Christ with Belial,
or what has a believer in common with an unbeliever? 16 Or what agreement has
the
2.12. Some practical advice:
2.12.1.Just because you may have permission to have a
scriptural divorce, does not mean that the Lord wants you to do it, you must
look to the Holy Spirit’s leading in all things, and do what He wants for you
to do always
2.12.2.We must not believe that divorce is the unpardonable
sin, for in many ways the church has seemed to give the idea that there are
some sins that are really bad and others that really aren’t too bad, rather if
a Christian does divorce and then remarry God can still forgive them, and He
can again even restore them to a place to be able to have a vital ministry
2.12.3.God is a God of mercy, and if a sister (or even a
brother for that matter) is in a marriage where there is serious physical abuse
(or sometimes even extreme verbal abuse), it is only prudent and right for that
sister to separate from that spouse who is abusing
3.
VS 5:33-37 - “33 “Again, you have heard that the ancients were
told, ‘You shall not make false vows, but shall fulfill your vows to the Lord.’
34 “But I say to you, make no oath at all, either by heaven, for it is the
throne of God, 35 or by the earth, for it is the footstool of His feet, or by
Jerusalem, for it is the city of the great King. 36 “Nor shall you make an oath
by your head, for you cannot make one hair white or black. 37 “But let your
statement be, ‘Yes, yes‘ or ‘No, no‘; and anything beyond these is of evil” - Jesus forbids swearing and the making of
oaths
3.1.
In these verses,
we again see that Jesus is going to contrast what the Jewish leaders had always
taught with what is the true intent of God’s Word, and in this case it has to
do with the act of swearing or making of oaths
3.1.1. The Jews of Jesus’ day were constantly swearing and
taking oaths upon themselves, and they felt that if they did not swear by the
Name of the Lord, then it did not matter what else they swore by, they were not
responsible to hold up their word
3.2.
There are many scriptures
in the Bible that deal with the topic of swearing, so we should look at these
examples of swearing and determine in light of them what Jesus is teaching
here:
3.2.1. In the Old Testament we see that Jehovah Himself
swears in order to give even greater assurance to the belief in His
promises: Jer. 22:5, “5 “But if you
will not obey these words, I swear by Myself,” declares the Lord, “that this
house will become a desolation”’”
3.2.2. Likewise, in Deut. 6:13 and 10:20 Moses wrote that
God’s people are to “swear by His Name”, “13 “You shall fear only the Lord
your God; and you shall worship Him, and swear by His name”
3.2.3. In Lev. 19:12, we read that swearing “falsely” (when
you don’t intend to fulfill it) by the Lord’s Name is condemned, “12 ‘And
you shall not swear falsely by My name, so as to profane the name of your God;
I am the Lord”
3.2.4. In Num. 30:2, a person who does not fulfill his vows
to the Lord is condemned, “2 “If a man makes a vow to the Lord, or takes an oath
to bind himself with a binding obligation, he shall not violate his word; he
shall do according to all that proceeds out of his mouth””
3.2.5. In Is. 65:16, Isaiah writes that if anyone swears that
he should swear by the Lord, “ 16 “Because he who is blessed in the earth
Shall be blessed by the God of truth;
And he who swears in the earth Shall swear by the God of truth; Because the former troubles are forgotten,
And because they are hidden from My sight!””
3.2.6. In Heb. 6:16 the author wrote that swearing was commonly
done as the way of ending disputes, “16 For men swear by one greater than
themselves, and with them an oath given as confirmation is an end of every
dispute”
3.2.7. In Ex. 22:11, men are commanded by the Lord to make a
sworn statement in legal matters regarding stolen property, “11 an oath
before the Lord shall be made by the two of them, that he has not laid hands on
his neighbor’s property; and its owner shall accept it, and he shall not make
restitution”
3.2.8. Abraham made oaths:
Gen. 14:22-24, 21:23-24, 24:1-10
3.2.9. Isaac made oaths:
Gen: 26:31
3.2.10.Jacob and Laban made oaths: Gen. 31:44-53
3.2.11.David and Jonathan made oaths: 1 Sam. 20:16, Ps. 132:2
3.2.12.I believe Jesus Himself swore an oath when he appeared
before Caiphas that He was the Christ:
“Matthew 26:63-64, “63 But Jesus kept silent. And the high priest
said to Him, “I adjure You by the living God, that You tell us whether You are
the Christ, the Son of God.”64 Jesus *said to him, “You have said it yourself; nevertheless I tell you,
hereafter you shall see the Son of Man
sitting at the right hand of Power,
and coming on the clouds of heaven.””
3.2.13.Jesus likewise often said, “Truly, truly”, in the
sense of an oath
3.3.
In light of all
of the examples above, I believe that it is clear that what Jesus is condemning
here is frivolous and light-hearted swearing, not all forms of swearing
3.3.1. There is usually no need to swear about something
3.3.2. It is better not to swear concerning anything for God
expects us to keep our word when we swear
3.3.3. When a person swears then, he must do so only under unusual
circumstances, where he must do so to resolve a civil dispute, or when he feels
that he must vow himself before the Lord that He WILL or WILL NOT do something
3.3.3.1.A person should avoid all other types of swearing
because of the fact that he does not have the ability to know for a fact that
he will be able to fulfill his vow
3.3.3.1.1.In Ja. 4:13-15, James wrote about how we Christians
should not even say that we will do anything, but rather say, “if the Lord
wills”, we shall do something, “13 Come now, you who say, “Today or
tomorrow, we shall go to such and such a city, and spend a year there and
engage in business and make a profit.” 14 Yet you do not know what your life
will be like tomorrow. You are just a vapor that appears for a little while and
then vanishes away. 15 Instead, you ought to say, “If the Lord wills, we shall
live and also do this or that””
3.3.3.2.People in our day are not much different from those of
Jesus day in that they swear because of the fact that people are so used to
them breaking their word that they have no credibility, and therefore they feel
that they must swear in order to be believed
3.3.3.2.1.I recently saw an example of our culture and the low
value that we place upon our word in a movie.
The dialog went something like this.
The man was trying to explain to his girlfriend why he hadn’t met her
one night as he had told her he would, and he says, “I had a flat tire, I
caught pneumonia, I was in a car wreck, I had a doctor’s appointment, a friend
of mine died. Oh baby, you gotta believe
me”. The woman then said, “Oh
darlin’, how could I ever have doubted you”.
3.3.3.3.If we Christians would just become people of our word,
then people would know that if we promise anything that we will deliver what we
promise, and then we will no longer have to swear except under very unusual
circumstances
3.3.3.3.1.What Jesus meant when He said that we are to let our
‘yes be yes’ and our ‘no be no’ is that we are to be a person of
our word, and that to do anything else (‘anything beyond these is of evil’) is
wrong and evil
3.3.3.3.1.1.What a witness we Christians could be to the lost
people of this world if we would just be people who could be relied upon to
keep our word
3.4.
Jesus teaches
here that if we swear by anything, we are really swearing by the Lord, for He
created everything and even holds it together, plus He arranges events upon the
earth
3.4.1. If a person swears by the earth, it is God’s
footstool, so the person is really swearing by the Lord
3.4.2. If a person swears by
3.4.3. If a person swears by the hair on his head, that
person is not even able to turn one of his hairs to be black or white, for it
is the Lord who has created his body and his hair, and he shall be swearing by
God