Matthew 19:1-12: “Jesus Contends With The Pharisees And Their
Questions On Divorce On Three Grounds”
by
1.
INTRO
1.1.
In this
next section we will see that the Pharisees seek once again to put Jesus to the
test, this time by asking Him a question concerning divorce
1.1.1.
In the
culture of Jesus’ day it was common practice and fully accepted that a man
could divorce his wife for any reason at all, and thus men would divorce their
wives if, for instance, the wife would cook a bad meal, not clean the house
perfectly, etc.
1.1.2.
The
Pharisees ask Jesus if it is OK for a man to divorce His wife for any reason?
1.1.3.
By asking
this question, the Pharisees wanted to
polarize Jesus into one of two camps:
1.1.3.1.
As going
against the teaching of Moses regarding divorce
1.1.3.1.1.
For this
they could accuse Him of blasphemy and have Him stoned to death
1.1.3.2.
As
forbidding divorce on any grounds
1.1.3.2.1.
If they
got Him to take this stand they could then use that to alienate Him from the
common people who accepted divorce on any grounds and who often divorced
1.1.4.
Jesus
contends with the Pharisees’ and their question on three grounds:
1.1.4.1.
Jesus
explains that they misunderstand Moses’ teaching regarding divorce
1.1.4.2.
Jesus
takes them not to the teachings of their scribes for authority regarding
divorce but rather to the authority of God Himself from the book of Genesis
1.1.4.3.
Jesus
teaches that except for the case of an unfaithful spouse, a person who divorces
and then remarries commits adultery
1.1.5.
Jesus
teaches that marriage was given by God and meant to be a commitment that lasts
for a lifetime
2.
VS 19:1-2 - “And it
came about that when Jesus had finished these words, He departed from Galilee,
and came into the region of Judea beyond the Jordan; and great multitudes followed Him, and He
healed them there.” - Jesus
leaves the area of Galilee and begins to head toward
2.1.
Jesus now leaves
Galilee for the last time as He now begins heading towards
2.2.
Jesus is now
being followed by multitudes as He heads towards
2.3.
As always Jesus
is healing the multitudes as He goes.
3.
VS 19:3-6 - “And some Pharisees came to Him,
testing Him and saying, “Is it lawful for a man to divorce his
wife for any cause at all?” And He
answered and said, “Have you not read, that He who created them from the
beginning made them male and female, and said, ‘For this cause a man shall
leave His father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife; and the two shall become one flesh’? Consequently they are no longer two, but one
flesh. What therefore God has joined
together, let no man separate.”” -
The Pharisees ask Jesus if it is ‘lawful’ for a man to divorce his wife
for any cause at all
3.1.
It is probable
that the Pharisees ask this question of Jesus because they had heard of His
teachings concerning marriage and divorce, such as that we already studied in Matt.
5:31-32, and that from those teachings they saw the possibility in asking
Jesus this question that they could place Jesus in opposition with the beliefs
and practices of the general populace as well as the scribes of that day who
allowed divorce for any cause at all., “And it was said, ‘Whoever sends his
wife away, let him give her a certificate of divorce; but I say to you that everyone who divorces
his wife, except for the cause of unchasity, makes her commit adultery; and whoever marries a divorced woman commits
adultery”
3.2.
The Pharisees’
also sought to see if Jesus would contradict Moses’ teaching and they their
question refers back to Deuteronomy 24:1-4, and in that section of
scripture in Deuteronomy Moses wrote, “When a man takes a wife and
marries her, and it happens that she finds no favor in his eyes because he has
found some indecency in her, and he writes for her a certificate of divorce and
puts it in her hand and sends her out from his house, and she leaves his house
and goes and becomes another man’s wife, and if the latter husband turns
against her and writes her a certificate of divorce and puts it in her
hand and sends her out of his house or if the latter husband dies who took her
to be his wife, then her former husband who sent her away is not allowed
to take her again to be his wife, since she has been defiled; for that is an abomination before the Lord,
and you shall not bring sin on the land which the Lord your God gives you as an
inheritance.”
3.2.1.
In this writing
from Deuteronomy Moses isn’t even giving any commands concerning the legality
of divorce at all, rather he is giving legislation concerning the situation
where a man had divorced his wife and then she married another man who in turn
divorced her, and then whether it was lawful for her first husband to take her
again to be his wife. Moses writes that
this is not legal to do and that it would actually be an abomination.
3.2.2.
That Moses had
allowed for the writing of a divorcement decree from marriage is all that can
be determined from this verse that is pertinent to the legality of divorce and
remarriage.
3.3.
Jesus thwarts the
Pharisees’ plot against Him again for He points them all the way back to
Genesis, to God’s original intentions for a man and a woman in marriage.
3.3.1.
Jesus tells the
Pharisees that when God created man that He did not create one man and multiple
women, but rather that He created a single man and a single woman, and this
shows that His intention from the beginning was for monogamy between one man
and one woman.
3.3.2.
Jesus tells the
Pharisees that it was God’s plan from the beginning for a man and a woman to
leave their own homes and to then come together and to ‘cleave’ to each
other, and that the ‘two shall become one flesh’
3.3.2.1.
Jesus tells them
that this joining together of two people is something that God does, and
therefore it is not man’s place to undo what God has done in this.
3.3.2.2.
The joining of
two to become one flesh is the creation of a bond that binds a man and a woman,
but it is also the disappearance of the individuality of both people, for the
two are now one new person in the bond of marriage.
3.3.2.3.
This bond is so
tight that to break it apart through divorce is to cause great harm to both.
3.3.2.3.1.
I have before
likened divorce to the separation of Siamese Twins, for though many times
Siamese Twins can be separated and both live through the separation, both will
be injured in the process.
4.
VS 19:7-8 - “They said to Him, “Why then did Moses
command to give her a certificate of divorce and send her away?” He said to them, “Because of your hardness of
heart, Moses permitted you to divorce your wives; but from the beginning it has not been this
way”” - The Pharisees ask why then
it was that Moses commanded a man to give his wife a certificate of divorce in
these situations?
4.1.
The Pharisees are
again alluding to the passage in Deuteronomy 24:1-4 which I quoted above and
gave some explanation for. However, the
Pharisees did not understand some things concerning this passage in
Deuteronomy:
4.1.1.
It was not a
command to give a certificate of divorce that Moses was legislating, but rather
it was a concession that he had given to the people because of the hardness of
their hearts.
4.1.1.1.
The implication
of this is of course that it was not God’s perfect will for the people to
divorce their wives in the first place.
4.1.1.2.
The concession
actually protected the wives, for had they been forced to stay with their
husbands when their husbands were not honoring them as their wives, the wives
could have suffered much violence from them.
4.1.1.3.
This freed up the
women to remarry if they had been divorced from their husbands.
4.2.
There are some
times in our lives as Christians when we are not in God’s perfect will for our
lives, but instead we don’t pray and wait on the Lord concerning decisions we
make and we instead jump out of God’s perfect plans and end up in what some
people have called, “God’s permissive will”.
4.2.1.
I personally
don’t think that this is the best term that could be used for this situation,
for really we are just in rebellion against and straying from the Lord’s will
when we are in this condition.
5.
VS 19:9 - ““And I say to you, whoever divorces his
wife, except for immorality and marries another woman commits adultery””
- Jesus tell the Pharisees that
remarriage after divorce is to commit adultery unless your spouse had committed
immorality
5.1.
Jesus does not
forbid divorce on any grounds in His teaching here, as the Pharisees had hoped
that He might, and He also does not go against the correct understanding of
Moses’ teaching in Deut. 24:1-4.
5.2.
Jesus teaches
here that the only acceptable grounds for divorce is the situation where your
spouse has committed ‘immorality’.
5.2.1.
The Greek word
used here for ‘immorality’ is ‘porneia’, and it is often
translated ‘fornication’ in the New Testament, and it means ‘any sex act that
one commits outside of monogamous marriage’, and this is the word from which
our English word, ‘pornography’, comes from.
5.2.1.1.
Some have tried
to make this word ‘porneia’ mean only ‘adultery’, however it is
used really in a wider sense than merely, ‘adultery’.
5.3.
Some have tried to make Jesus say in this
verse that it was any ‘adultery’ or ‘fornication’ which a man may discover that
his wife had committed before they were married, however this doesn’t make
sense because to believe this would mean that you believe that fornication
after the consummation of marriage is not nearly as bad as that which might
occur before you were married?!
5.4.
Some have tried
to say that the New Testament teaches that if a Christian divorces that he or
she is never free to remarry under any condition as long as their spouse is
still alive, however this verse clearly teaches that a person is not committing
adultery if he/she re-marries after he/she has divorced due to infidelity of
the spouse.
5.5.
It would not be
fair if a Christian were to have to be accountable and suffer for the actions
and infidelity of his/her spouse and therefore not be able either to divorce or
to re-marry after a spouse has been unfaithful.
5.5.1.
What is really at
stake here in a marriage is whether or not a person is still ‘bound’ to their
spouse after their has been infidelity on the part of the spouse.
5.5.2.
Jesus is teaching
then that a person is no longer ‘bound’ to their spouse if their has been
infidelity on the part of the spouse, and therefore the person has ‘permission’
from God to divorce because the ‘bond’ of marriage has been broken, and if the
person is no longer ‘bound’ to their spouse in God’s eyes they are free to
re-marry.
5.5.3.
In saying this,
we must realize that Jesus does not say that we have to divorce our spouse
because of their infidelity, nor that divorce would be the best response to
infidelity. He just is saying that a
person has God’s ‘permission’ to divorce as well as to re-marry in these
situations.
5.5.3.1.
It is in many
situations better for a person to forgive their spouse for infidelity and to
try to invest in rebuilding their marriage when infidelity has occurred, for
there is a tremendous blessing both for those who are forgive someone much as
wells as those who are forgiven much.
5.5.3.2.
It is usually but
not always the case when infidelity has occurred in a marriage that both people
have been doing many things that are very hurtful to their spouse and their
marriage, and therefore there is a sharing of blame that must occur for a
failed marriage.
5.6.
In 1
Corinthians 7:10-15 the apostle Paul gave a second situation which allows
for an acceptable reason for divorce for a Christian, and that is the situation
where an unbelieving spouse chooses to leave the believer, “But to the
married I give instructions, not I, but the Lord, that the wife should not
leave her husband (but if she does leave, let her remain unmarried, or else be
reconciled to her husband), and that the husband should not send his wife
away. But to the rest I say, not the
Lord, that if any brother has a wife who is an unbeliever, and she consents to
live with him, let him not send her away.
And a woman who has an unbelieving husband, and he consents to live with
her, let her not send her husband away.
For the unbelieving husband is sanctified through his wife, and the
unbelieving wife is sanctified through her believing husband; for otherwise your children are unclean, but
now they are holy. Yet if the
unbelieving one leaves, let him leave;
the brother or the sister is not under bondage in such cases, but
God has called us to peace.”
5.6.1.
Paul gives the
Christian whose ‘unbelieving’ spouse is choosing to abandon him/her to ‘let him
leave’, in other words ‘don’t try to hold the marriage together if the
unbelieving spouse leaves’.
5.7.
So then, to
re-cap:
5.7.1.
There are two
reasons for which a person may be able to have a ‘scriptural divorce’:
5.7.1.1.
infidelity of the
spouse
5.7.1.2.
if the
unbelieving spouse abandons you
5.7.2.
If a person has
had a divorce that meets this scriptural criteria for acceptability then they
are no longer bound to that other person and they are therefore free to marry
again, only as Paul wrote, a Christian should only marry ‘in the Lord’ (1
Cor. 7:39).
5.7.3.
Just because you
have God’s ‘permission’ to divorce a spouse who has committed infidelity, this
does not mean that to do so would be the best thing to do.
5.7.4.
You need to follow
the Holy Spirit’s leading in regard to how you handle a situation involving
infidelity and be obedient to the Lord’s leading.
6.
VS 19:10 - “The disciples said to Him, “If the
relationship of the man with his wife is like this, it is better not to marry.””
- Jesus’ disciples tell Him that if what
He is saying about divorce is true that it would be better not to marry
6.1.
This is one of
those verses that really shows us a lot about the disciples, for it shows
really that they are still such a product of their culture. The disciples cannot imagine married life if
a man cannot divorce his wife for any cause at all and then re-marry at will.
6.2.
The disciples
realized that marriage is not an easy arrangement, and that divorce made many
things convenient for those who found themselves in marital difficulties,
however the question they really should have been asking Jesus was, “What kind
of strength and power would I need in order to be able to deny myself and die
to self so that I would be able to live peaceably with a wife in a home that
honors God?”
6.2.1.
When my wife and
I married I knew that it would only be by the grace of God and through His
strength in my life that I would be able to keep the marriage vows which I
made. I also knew at that time that it
would be much not to marry than to marry someone God did not intend for me.
7.
VS
19:11-12 - “But He said to them, “Not
all men can accept this statement, but only those to whom it has
been given. For there are eunuchs who
were born that way from their mother’s womb;
and there are eunuchs who were made eunuchs by men; and there are also eunuchs who made
themselves eunuchs for the sake of the kingdom of heaven. He who is able to accept this, let him
accept it.”” - Jesus
teaches His disciples about those who are eunuchs (i.e. those who do not marry)
7.1.
Jesus tells His
disciples that only those who can ‘accept this statement’ have been given this
status in life, in other words He says that only those who have been called of God
and given the gift of celebacy are to live life without being married.
7.1.1.
In the seventh
chapter of 1 Corinthians the apostle Paul writes about the fact that he had
been this gift of celebacy and that if you have that gift then it is better not
to marry since by living life for the Lord being celebate you can serve the
Lord whole-heartedly and without distraction.
7.1.1.1.
Paul writes that
the person who is married always has to divide his affection and time between
serving the Lord and serving his spouse, however the Christian who is called
and gifted to live a celebate life can serve the Lord fully.
7.1.1.2.
Paul writes in
that same chapter 7 of 1 Corinthians concerning those who do not have the gift
of celebacy that it is, ‘better to marry than to burn’ with passion (1
Cor. 7:9).
7.2.
Jesus teaches
here that some people were born with the ‘gift of celebacy’, and thus
they have no desire for marriage, and God calls them to serve Him as a single
person.
7.3.
Jesus teaches
that there are also some people who have had others castrate them, and that
therefore they have no desire for marriage.
In that day court officials were sometimes castrated so that they would
serve in a king’s or queen’s court unhampered.
7.3.1.
The Ethiopian
Eunuch in the book of Acts was probably one of these.
7.4.
Jesus also teaches
here that there are others who make a conscious choice to live a celebate life
for the Lord since in doing so they would be much less distracted in their
service.
7.4.1.
When Jesus
mentions here those who make themselves eunuchs in order to serve the Lord more
fully He is not referring to them castrating themselves but rather to them
choosing not to marry.
7.4.1.1.
The early church
father Origen read these verses and crushed his own testicles so that he could
more fully serve the Lord being celebate, however this type of response was not
what Jesus intended.
7.5.
Remember, if you
do not have the ‘gift of celebacy’, then you should plan on the Lord
someday leading someone into your life to marry, for this is the way that the
Lord works in our lives if we have not been given the gift. Plus, in 1 Cor. 7:2 Paul writes that ‘because
of immoralities’, or the temptations and propensity for immorality, ‘let
each man have his own wife, and let each woman have her own husband’