Eph. 5:21-33, “Paul Admonishes The Ephesians To Accept The
Principles Of Submission In Their Lives”
By
1.
INTRO:
1.1.
In our last study, we looked
at verses 15-20 of chapter 5.
1.1.1. We saw that
Christians are those who are wise and Paul told us in that study that we are to
act as wise men and women. We looked at
what characterizes both wisdom and foolishness.
1.1.2. We saw that
the Lord commanded us to be filled with the Holy Spirit
1.1.3. We discussed
how to be filled with the Holy Spirit as well as the fact that the filling of
the Holy Spirit is a prerequisite that is necessary to applying any of the
exhortations of this book.
1.2.
In this study, we are going to look at verses 21-33 of
chapter 5.
1.2.1. In this study,
as an outgrowth of the theology that he has built to this point Paul will begin
to admonish the church concerning their responsibilities in properly being
submissive to those who are in authority over them.
1.2.2. We will see
that Paul tells the Ephesians that we are all to be subject to one another.
1.2.3. Paul next
admonishes women that they are to be submissive to their husbands in all
things. We will talk about what that
means.
1.2.4. Finally,
Paul writes that the submission of husbands is submission to Christ whose will
is for them to love their wives in the same way as Christ loved the church and
gave Himself up for her.
1.2.5. In our next
study, we will see further admonitions from Paul for slaves to be submissive to
their masters and children to be submissive to and obey their parents.
2. VS 5:21 - “21 and be subject to
one another in the fear of Christ.” - Paul
admonishes the Ephesians to be subject to one another
2.1.
One of the things that many who teach the Bible do
which I believe does much harm is to teach topical messages where you take a
section of scripture and attempt to study it outside of its context in the
particular book of the Bible it resides in.
This may seem harmless to many however pertaining to many texts, such as
the one before us today, to simply begin to teach what these verses mean and
how to apply them without laying the
foundation that Paul has laid in this book is really to expect people to apply
very difficult truths in their lives without seeing their importance as well as
how they relate to everything else in God’s mind and purposes. Paul in his writings always laid a huge
foundation of doctrine pertaining to God’s mind and purposes before he begins
to admonish his readers in how they are to apply these truths in their
life. Bible teachers would do well to
follow Paul’s example by teaching through the books of the Bible for then the
full foundation for every teaching will be taught making it easier to apply the
various admonitions that result from that foundation.
2.2.
The tendency of teachers in the church, especially in
the last one hundred years pertaining to these verses has been either to deny
their inspiration stating that these were Paul’s ideas and Paul was a
chauvinist, or to teach them out of their context which has resulted in men and
women sort of taking sides, one sex against the other, according to their own
predispositions. We must never approach
the scriptures in these ways for they contain the very word of God.
2.2.1. Those who
would state that this teaching represents Paul’s ideas and that those ideas are
not inspired really need to evaluate what they are saying. Paul in his writings claimed inspiration of
the Holy Spirit as an apostle of Jesus Christ in all cases except for a couple
instances in which he sort of stepped aside and said that this was his idea and
that the Lord had not directly revealed the truth to him.
2.2.2. Even the
apostle Peter, the apostle to the Jews, declared by implication in his first
epistle that Paul’s writings were
scripture, 2 Peter 3:15-16, “15 and regard the patience of our
Lord as salvation; just as also our beloved brother Paul, according to
the wisdom given him, wrote to you, 16 as also in all his letters,
speaking in them of these things, in which are some things hard to understand,
which the untaught and unstable distort, as they do also the rest of the
Scriptures, to their own destruction.”
2.2.3. To deny that
what Paul wrote is inspired of the Holy Spirit is to deny the inspiration and
infallibility of the word of God.
Besides, Paul in his writings never denigrates women but actually lifts
them up to the highest place that they could ever be for he declares that they
are equal heirs with men of all that Jesus Christ has for His people. The submission for women that Paul admonishes
does not diminish women but rather elevates them to the place where God has
intended them to be. It was
Christianity, and Paul’s very writings, which are responsible for women being
elevated in societies from the status of mere slaves or possessions, as once
was the case.
2.3.
Having stated the importance of teaching this section
of scripture within the full foundation of doctrine that Paul has laid in this
book, lets take a look at what we have learned in this book relative to this
portion of scripture we will study today.
2.3.1. We saw in
our very first study of this book that the book began not with Paul, not with
man, and not with the church, but with God, for Paul began by writing, “Paul,
an apostle of Christ Jesus by the will of God.” Everything that Paul wrote in this book is a
revelation of the will of God as well as the result of God’s working. God was the One who predestined each of us
who would become Christians, and that occurred before the foundation of the
world. God chose and elected u as those
who would be saved. God determined
before the foundation of the world that He would send His only begotten Son,
the second person of the Trinity, One who is divine, to take the sin penalty
which all of us one day would accrue against ourselves. It was God who chose to reveal to us in New
Testament times the riches of His grace which He has “lavished upon us.” It was God who has given to every believer
the “unfathomable riches of Christ.”
It was God who determined to make every sinner who is under the
condemnation of death because of his innumerable sins, who then repents and
accepts Jesus Christ as his Lord and Savior, to become equal heirs of all that
Jesus Christ possesses. It all began
with God and if we remember that fact then it is much easier to accept His will
and admonitions for our lives and place ourselves in God’s plan.
2.4.
The subject matter of this study is “submission”
and I would state right from the beginning that if a person does not know the
Lord Jesus Christ as his Lord and his Savior he will not understand the
importance of applying these truths to his life, nor will he be able to do so
even if he wanted to apply them. Before
applying these truths to his own life, a person first has to see that the Lord
Jesus Christ, though He was very God of very God, God the Son, from all
eternity, He none-the-less willing submitted Himself to God the Father in order
to come and be the sin-bearer for all mankind.
Jesus Christ was willing to submit Himself and suffer and die in this
horrible manner, even though to do so would cause Him to go through the most
excruciating agony a person has every experienced. The Holy Spirit, the third person of the
Trinity, submits Himself to both the Father and the Son, and His purpose is to
glorify the Son. Without this
understanding concerning submission and the Godhead, and the plan of redemption
for mankind, no person will see the importance of submitting Himself in the way
that Paul describes in this study. If a
person doesn’t know the Lord, he is self-centered and selfish by nature and
thus he will only submit to another if he has to do so or if there is some sort
of a personal reward that will be gained by his submission. This is why there are so many problems in
marriages and families. It is only the
Christian who truly practices the principles of submission found in this study.
2.5.
One of the main reasons we have so many problems in
our world today is because of not following these very principles of submission
found in this study. Today, because of
not following these problems divorce rates are staggering, children are
rebellious and get into lots of problems because of substance abuse and sexual
experimentation, sexually transmitted diseases are rampant due to people
committing sexual acts of sexual immorality, there are incredible numbers of
people who are on welfare, the crime rate is extremely high, etc., etc.
2.6.
As further background for this study, remember that in
our last study it was stated that Paul had many things to admonish the Ephesian
Christians of however he knew that in order for the Ephesians to apply any of
these exhortations, or in fact any of the admonitions of the Bible, that they
first needed to be filled with the Holy Spirit.
Only as Christians are filled with the Holy Spirit are they empowered
and enabled to live such a life of submission as that which Paul outlines here
in this study. A Christian must be dead
to self, have Jesus Christ as Lord or Master over his life, and be filled with
the Holy Spirit in order to apply the truths found in this study.
2.7.
This verse that is before us is really the key to
understanding the rest of the verses from 22 through verse 9 of chapter 6. This verse states that it is God’s will for
each of us as His people to submit ourselves to each other. The life of a Christian is to be
characterized by submission. Each of us
who are Christians have authorities that are placed over our lives for whom we
are called upon to submit, and we are to submit to one another in the body of
Christ.
2.8.
There have been times when people have talked with me
about my responsibilities here in the church as pastor and they have wanted to
know who I am in submission to, and I have told them that I am in submission to
everyone, and this is the way that I look at my life and my role in the church.
If anyone wants to discuss anything that
I do or have done, or if anyone wants to confront me about my life, I am always
open to them. I do ask that they come to
me with an open heart and mind to the Lord.
However, I do not consider myself as being above anyone’s scrutiny. If anyone is concerned about how the church’s
expenses are being used related to me, please come and talk to me. If anyone is concerned about the directions
our church takes relative to me, please come and talk with me. I will listen to you and I will pray about
what you tell me. I cannot promise that
I will follow your suggestion, but I will weigh it out before the Lord. In the same way, each of us as Christians and
leaders in the church must have the same sort of willingness to be entreated by
our brothers and sisters in the Lord.
This is what it means to be subject to one another. It involves being open to each other’s ideas
and to God leading you through someone else, anyone else in the body of Christ.
2.9.
Though Paul tells the wives that they are to be
subject to their own husbands, he also tells the husbands here that they are to
be subject to their wives, for they are to be subject to everyone. Though in the next chapter Paul will tell children
that they are to be in subjection to their parents, he tells parents here that
they are to be subject to their children, for they are to be subject to
everyone.
2.10.
Now, notice carefully here the motive that Paul tells
us that we are to have in being subject to one another. It is to be done ‘in the fear of Christ.’ To wives, husbands, slaves, and children,
Paul gives a similar injunction. You
see, Paul is indicating here that the submission that we are to be under is a
submission that is not based upon anything other than our desire to honor and
please the Lord. We are to be in
submission in these various ways because the Lord wants us to do so and because
we desire more than anything else to show proper honor and reverence for the
Lord. Paul wrote the following in
Colossians about how we are to approach everything that we do in this life,
Colossians 3:23, “23 Whatever you do, do your work heartily, as
for the Lord rather than for men.”
We are to submit to one another in the body of Christ and do so “as
unto the Lord.”
2.11.
I just want to mention further here that when a person
becomes a Christian that his relationship with Christ is supposed to be
reflected in everything that he does in his life. It is to permeate every area of his life, and
there must be no compartmentalization in our lives as Christians. I believe that some of the early pioneers and
founders of this country had a compartmentalized view of their lives for we
find them writing and speaking great truths concerning their relationship with
and belief in Jesus Christ as their Lord and their Savior, and yet you find out
things like the fact that they also perhaps had slaves for the purpose of sex
and lived a secret life that was anything but Christian. However, compartmentalizing is a very fatal
mentality to have for those who claim to be true saved and born again
Christians. Our relationship with and
obedience to Christ must be in every area of our life or we are in perilous
territory and perhaps have not guarantee of eternal life whatsoever.
2.12.
I want to say here that acting in proper submission is
a testimony to others. It speaks volumes
concerning what God has done in our lives and people of this world will marvel
at our lives if we genuinely apply these things in our life.
2.13.
I have some admonitions to us who are parents.
2.13.1.
If a wife is not properly submitting to her husband or
if a husband is not truly loving his wife as Christ loved the church, their
children will pick up on their attitudes.
2.13.2.
Wife you will have a difficult teaching submission to
your children if you do not submit to your husband. If you do not respect your husband you will
have a hard time getting your children to respect him.
2.13.3.
Husbands you will have a difficult time teaching
submission to your children if you really are not loving your wife as you should.
2.13.4.
Parents also teach submission to their children by
being subject to them. If we do not
respect our children and if we are not willing to be subject to them then how
can we teach them to be respectful and subject to others.
2.13.5.
Also, husbands and wives you are setting a pattern for
your children to follow in their relationship with the opposite sex. If you are rebellious in regard to your
proper role of submission don’t be surprised if your children follow your example
in their future marriages. You are
setting the pattern both for their expectations for marriage as well as for how
they will react in situations with their future mate. If you are not properly being submissive in
the roles God has for you, don’t be surprised if your children end up in heart-breaking
failed marriages, or if they end up being a person who does not want to ever
get married. If you divorce don’t be
surprised if your children divorce.
3. VS
5:22-24 - “22 Wives,
be subject to your own husbands, as to the Lord. 23 For the
husband is the head of the wife, as Christ also is the head of the church, He
Himself being the Savior of the body. 24 But as the church is
subject to Christ, so also the wives ought to be to their husbands in
everything.” - Paul
admonishes the wives to submit to their husbands
3.1.
Notice first of all here that Paul does not qualify
this statement here. This admonition is
not for some wives, not for some churches, not pertaining to some
situation. All wives are to be in
submission to their husbands.
3.2.
Notice that the submission that wives are to have to
their husbands is be ‘in everything.’
Wives are not to simply agree to some compromises with their husbands
for the sake of their marriage and then live another secret or self-serving
life on the side. The submission of
wives is to be complete and pertaining to all areas of their life (no
compartmentalism).
3.3.
Paul knew that there was a major problem in the church
with wives being submissive to their husbands, and yet he wanted to address the
subject of submission from the widest possible angle. Then, he begins his admonitions as
appropriate, with what was the biggest issue that needed to be dealt with, and
that was that wives be in submission to their husbands.
3.4.
Notice here that in verse 22 that the word ‘subject’
is in italics. This is because it is not
in the text but the translators believed that it was implied. The fact that this word is not present but
implied is proof that verse 21 is the key to understanding all of these
admonitions concerning submission for they all come out of that admonition to
be in subjection one to another. It is
as if Paul said something to the effect of, “Be in subjection one to
another, such as wives to their husbands, etc.”
3.5.
There has always been a tendency for a recently saved
Christian woman whose husband is unsaved to consider that she is now free in
regards to this life for the Lord has liberated her. Therefore, she did not need to be subject to
her husband. However, this is not God’s
will for wives. Likewise, children
sometimes have a similar attitude when they come to know the Lord and their
parents are unsaved. They feel sometimes
like they do not need to be submissive to their unsaved parents because they
now have a superior understanding of spiritual matters in this life. However, this is not God’s will for them
either. We all need to be in proper
submission to the Lord.
3.6.
Notice here that the motive for the woman’s submission
to her husband is supposed to be that she is doing this ‘as unto the Lord.’ Women are always submissive to their husbands
when they happen to agree with their husband’s decisions, however the motive
for submission to husbands is not supposed to be because they happen to agree
with their husband. Likewise, women are
not called upon to be submissive to their husband because they happen to be
married to a man who is much more skilled in the area of leadership and making
important decisions than they are.
Rather, women are to submit to their husbands only because it is the
Lord who requires that wives are to be in submission to their husbands. God tells them to do so.
3.7.
Going back and looking more at the big picture, the
issue of submission of wives to husbands is found first in the third chapter of
the book of Genesis. Paul points us
there in verse 31 where he quotes from chapter 2 in Genesis concerning God’s
plan for marriage and the first man and woman whom God created. Marriage was an institution created by God,
it did not originate from man as some sort of societal necessity or convenience. From Genesis we see in the creation order
that man was created first, and he was given headship over creation and began
to name all of the animals. Then, woman
was created out of man and for the man, and the woman was brought to the man in
order to be his “helpmeet.” In
other words, the woman was created in order to help Adam be the person God
wanted him to be and to help him fulfill the things God wanted Adam to
fulfill. She was created to be his
helper, and not the other way around.
The man was not created for the woman but the woman for the man. It can also be argued that the fall of Eve
occurred because she usurped authority that was not hers for she should have
discussed the tree and the serpent’s words before she ate of the forbidden
tree, however she acted independently and as a result fell into sin. Then, we read in Genesis 3:16 about how part
of the curse that the Lord pronounced against the woman was that she would “desire”
her husband, which means that women will desire to usurp their husbands’
authority, but that men for their part would tend to “rule over” or “trample
down” women, “16 To
the woman He said, “I will greatly multiply Your pain in childbirth, In pain
you will bring forth children; Yet your desire will be for your husband, And he
will rule over you.”” Now, since the
fall the godly principle of headship of a man over his wife has not changed, it
is just that the Lord has told us that there will always be a struggle between
husbands and wives concerning headship.
Indeed, this passage in Genesis has been fulfilled for women today and
all throughout history have tried to usurp headship, assert their rights and
even sometimes be considered as superior.
Yet, at the same time in most countries of the world women have been
considered by men as mere slaves or objects to be possessed and dominated.
3.8.
Lets be clear about what submission of a wife to her
husband involves. It does not mean that
the woman is inferior (she is an equal heir of Christ Paul tells us). It does not mean that she is a slave and in
that sense a woman’s submission to her husband is a bit different than the
manner in which a Christian is to be submissive to the Lord. We are slaves of Christ and must do all that
He commands us to do without question.
It does not mean that the husband has superior decision-making skills,
as was stated. It does mean that woman
is supposed to look for leadership to her husband and submit to his leading and
decisions, even when she doesn’t agree with them (except for the case where to
be submissive to her husband would mean that she would be sinning) and
sometimes even when her husband is not seeking the Lord in his life as he
should. Sarah, Abraham’s wife, is an
example for women to follow in this. She
submitted to Abraham’s leadership even when to do so would possibly have
endangered herself, for instance when Abraham wanted her to tell Pharoah that
she was his sister.
3.9.
Every corporation appoints a chairman of the board for
the making of tough decisions, every sports team appoints a captain who has
leadership skills for the making of tough and important decisions, etc.,
etc., for chaos erupts in any
organization if there is no leader. In
the same way chaos results in a home and a marriage if there is not an
appointed leader. In God’s order of
creation and by His infinite wisdom and sovereign will He has appointed that
man shall be the head over his wife.
3.10.
Paul tells us here that the importance of the headship
of a man over his wife can be seen in the fact that Christ is the head over the
church.
3.11.
Note that Paul intimates something about the headship
of the husband over his wife when he states that this headship is like that of
Christ’s headship over the church because Christ is ‘the Savior of the body.’ In other words, Paul is intimating that like
Christ and the church the husband’s role in headship involves providing for,
protecting and shepherding his family, i.e. being a savior. Headship for the man does not mean that he
has no responsibilities or that everything that is done for him by his wife or
children is strictly for his well-being and prosperity. No, the husband and father is to serve his
wife and family, as he provides for them and protect them.
4. VS
5:25-30 - “25 Husbands,
love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for
her, 26 so that He might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the
washing of water with the word, 27 that He might present to Himself
the church in all her glory, having no spot or wrinkle or any such thing; but
that she would be holy and blameless. 28 So husbands ought also to
love their own wives as their own bodies. He who loves his own wife loves
himself; 29 for no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and
cherishes it, just as Christ also does the church, 30 because
we are members of His body.” - Paul
admonishes the husbands to love their wives as Christ loved the Church
4.1.
Husbands are also to be in submission. They are to be in submission to the Lord and
they are to express that submission by responding to their wives in the same
way that the Lord responds to them. They
are to love their wives as Christ loved the church and gave Himself up for her. They are to lay down their lives for their
wife and family even to the point of death, if necessary, in order to provide
for, protect, and nurture them in the love of God.
4.2.
One day, the pastor of a church had just preached a
message about the husband’s responsibility before the Lord and how that
husbands were to love their wives as Christ loved the church. A man present in the service decided he would
stop by the pastor’s office on his way home and tell him what a good message he
had preached. After he complimented the
pastor on his message he told the pastor, “I worship the very ground my wife
walks on.” The pastor then asked the
man, “Yes Bob, but do you love her as Christ loved the church?” The man hesitated for a minute and then in
honesty replied, “No, I know that I don’t.” The pastor replied, “Well Bob, then you’ve
got your work cut out for you now.”
4.3.
Paul discusses here the type of love that Christ has
for the church, the same love a man is to have for his wife, and note what type
of love the man is to have:
4.3.1. A
self-sacrificing love.
4.3.1.1. Christ ‘gave
Himself up for her.’
4.3.1.2. Jesus laid
down His life for the church and the husband must lay down his life for his
wife and family.
4.3.2. A love
that desires that she be made holy in all respects as is God’s desire for us.
4.3.2.1. ‘That He might
sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, 27
that He might present to Himself the church in all her glory, having no
spot or wrinkle or any such thing; but that she would be holy and blameless.’
4.3.2.2. A husband
must always desire God’s very best for his wife and family. He must also work to make sure that his wife
and family are brought up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord. Husbands are to teach God’s ways to their
wives and families.
4.3.2.3. Husbands
sometimes abdicate their responsibilities in these areas and allow their wives
to be the teachers and bring up their children in the Lord. Many times they do this just because it is
easier, however they must never do this.
4.3.3. He must
love her as he loves himself, in other words, care greatly for his wife.
4.3.3.1. Men ‘ought
also to love their own wives as their own bodies.’
4.3.3.2. People go to
great lengths to take care of themselves and their own needs. A husband is to have that same kind of love
for his wife.
4.3.4. He is to
nourish and cherish his wife.
4.3.4.1. ‘As
Christ also does the church, 30 because we are members of His
body.’
4.3.4.2. A man must
respect his wife and cherish her till death causes them to part, for this is
the same type of love that the Lord has for us, His church. Christ promises that He will never leave nor
forsake us.
4.3.5. He must
love her to the extent or degree that Christ loves the Church.
5. VS
5:31-33 - “31 For this reason a man shall leave his father
and mother and shall be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh. 32 This
mystery is great; but I am speaking with reference to Christ and the church. 33
Nevertheless, each individual among you also is to love his own wife even
as himself, and the wife must see to it that she respects her husband.” - Paul tells the Ephesians that a man and a
woman are to become one flesh and that this is a reference to Christ and the
church
5.1.
Here in these verses Paul quotes Genesis 2:24 and
refers back to how that it was God’s idea to create a helpmeet for Adam and to create
the institution of marriage. Jesus
referred to this verse also in Matthew chapter 19 when He stated that because
God had made the first man and woman to be one flesh in marriage that it was
never God’s intention that a man and a wife should get divorced, for one flesh
cannot be separated.
5.2.
Cleaving is essential to a good marriage, that is, the
becoming of ‘ONE FLESH.’ Whenever
I do pre-marital counseling one of the things that I always stress with the
couple is that when they get married that they have to leave their own homes
and go off and start their own family unit.
They then are to determine the very things that the Lord wants them to
do in their marriage and family and stick with those things. They must not allow mother-in-laws,
father-in-laws, uncles, cousins, and other family members to come and drive a
wedge between them. They must determine
boundaries for family so that they can be this autonomous family unit under
Christ. Allowing relatives to influence
a marriage can and will be very destructive to the marriage.
5.3.
Paul states here that this concept of a man and a
woman being ‘one flesh’ is a mystery and one that reflects upon the
relationship of Christ to the church.
The oneness that a man and a woman are designed by God to experience in
marriage is a picture, you see, of the relationship that a believer is designed
by God to have with the Lord Jesus Christ as his Lord and Savior.
5.4.
Paul repeats here that a husband is to love his wife
even as he loves himself. He is to take
good care of and cherish his wife just as he does his very own life.
5.5.
Note here that the woman is told to “respect”
her husband. Women often have a hard
time respecting their husbands, especially when their husband has done
bone-head types of things, however wives are admonished and commanded here to “respect”
their husbands. I contend that a man is
not going to be able to be a spiritual leader over a household as he is called
by the Lord to be until his wife in obedience to the Lord begins to show him “respect”
and allow him to lead.
6. CONCLUSIONS:
6.1.
With Jesus Christ as our example, the One who
submitted Himself completely to the Father in order to lay His life down for us
upon Calvary’s cross, lets accept the fact that God’s plans for us involves our
being under submission.
6.2.
In the fear of Christ, lets be subject to one another.
6.3.
In the fear of Christ, wives be subject to your
husbands in all things.
6.4.
In the fear of Christ, husbands be subject to Christ
and love your wife as Christ loved the church.