Rom. 14:1-12, “There Are Times When Christians Must Agree To Disagree:  Part #1

 

By

Jim Bomkamp

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1.     INTRO:

 

1.1.                     In our last study, we looked at verses 8-14 of chapter 13.

 

1.1.1.  In that section we saw that Paul made several admonitions to us as Christians as to how we are to live our lives as Christians in this world, saying.

 

1.1.1.1.      Owe no man nothing.

 

1.1.1.2.      Love your neighbor.

 

1.1.1.3.      Awake from your sleep.

 

1.1.1.4.      Lay aside the deeds of darkness and put on the armor of light.

 

1.1.1.5.      Behave properly as in the day.

 

1.1.1.6.      Put on the Lord Jesus and make no provision for the flesh.

 

1.2.                     In our study today, we are going to look at verses 1-12 of chapter 14.

 

1.2.1.  In Paul’s day, there were enormous problems in the churches that had been planted in that first century of the church due to the various backgrounds and baggage that people brought with them into the church after coming to Christ.  The primary distinction was that between Jew and Gentile, and I can imagine that in most churches that there was an isle down the middle and the Jews sat on one side and the Gentiles sat on the other, and neither group had much to do with the other. 

 

1.2.1.1.      There were Jewish brethren in the church in Rome who had come to recognize Jesus as the Jewish Messiah and believed upon Him for salvation, however because of their Jewish upbringing and training they still held onto and practiced many things from their Jewish heritage, and they had a hard time understanding why every Christian did not practice these same things.  Plus, they had a hard time befriending Gentiles and accepting them as brothers and sisters as equal heirs of God, especially because many of the practices of the Gentiles were in violation to their Jewish heritage.  Some saw Christianity as a Jewish-only religion.

 

1.2.1.2.      Likewise, there were Gentile brethren in the church in Rome who had been raised up despising Jews and their superior attitudes.  They did not keep the Jewish laws and rituals after coming to Christ because they rightly understood that salvation was by faith in Christ alone.  They didn’t understand why the Jewish Christians didn’t understand these simple truths.

 

1.2.2.  In our world today, there are often problems that arise in the church due to the fact that some people think that if a person is truly a Christian that he/she ought to be living a certain way and forsaking certain types of worldly behavior that they believe is a compromise of their faith and a denial of their Lord.  There is a lot of judging and criticism of each other in the body of Christ today. 

 

1.2.3.  Here are some of the areas of conduct which Christians in America sometimes debate today :

 

movies; ratings, going at all;

TV;

makeup;

dress;

tobacco;

alcohol;

cards & dice;

dancing;

Bible translations;

sports;

music;

 

1.2.4.  Christians who are genuinely and seriously following the Lord sometimes disagree about what is right and wrong behavior in certain situations, and in this study we are going to look at when Christians in love need to agree to disagree with each other about certain things.


 

 

1.2.5.  I think the following poem C. R. Hembree is appropriate to be read as we begin this study, it is called, “I dreamed of Heaven” :

 

I dreamed death came the other night:

And heaven’s gates swung wide.

With kindly grace an angel

Ushered me inside.

And there, to my astonishment,

Stood folks I’d known on earth.

Some I’d judged and labeled

Unfit or of little worth.

Indignant words rose to my lips,

But never were set free;

For every face showed stunned surprise …

No one expected me!

2.     VS 14:1  - 14:1 Now accept the one who is weak in faith, but not for the purpose of passing judgment on his opinions. -  Paul tells us to accept the brother or sister in Christ whose faith is weak

 

2.1.                     In chapter 12, Paul wrote about a believer’s relationships in the church, in chapter 13 his relationships in society, and here in chapter 14 Paul writes about how to handle disagreements of conscience between people within the church.  Even the best of friends, even the most faithful of Christians, may at times find themselves having sharp disagreements over matters regarding what is and what is not acceptable conduct for a Christian. 

 

2.2.                     I know from my wonderful marriage to my wife of 26 years and counting, that there have occasionally been times when she and I sharply disagreed about what should or should not be done in various situations.  At times my wife and I have had to tell each other that though we respect the other’s opinion greatly, that each of us must stand before the Lord individually, and that we must individually do what we feel is right ourselves.  There have also been a few times that I felt that I had to act as the husband who is head over his wife and I have overridden my wife’s opinion and made a decision contrary to her wishes concerning our family.  I have tried to do this sort of thing only when it was what I felt was a very important matter.  I can’t say that those times have been a lot of fun, but they also are a part of life. 

 

2.3.                     The areas Paul discusses in this chapter where we have disagreements between ourselves in the church are areas of conduct where the Bible is not black and white.  The areas in which the Bible is black and white are areas in which we as Christians should also be black and white and should be in 100% agreement.  What Paul writes about in this chapter is the “grey areas.”

 

2.4.                     Over the centuries, there have been many churches which have had major battles and conflicts over matters which are really trivial in nature.  For instance, I have heard in my lifetime of churches splitting over the color of the carpet or which side of the church the organ should be placed on.  I even personally know of one church that split because some were incensed that a person had the audacity as to change the font type that was used on the church bulletins.  But this type of behavior has caused incredible heartache and the work of God has suffered greatly as well.  So, in the church all Christians need to be very careful not to major on the minor inconsequential matters. 

 

2.5.                     Likewise, the church must not waver in the least concerning matters which are primary in importance and consequence. 

 

2.6.                     Since all people have lots of opinions about what is right and wrong, Christians must obtain principles from God’s word in which to make decisions as to what they shall or shall not allow in their lives and relationships with others.  Paul writes chapter 14 in order to deal with what Christians should do when they find themselves disagreeing as to matters of conscience and conduct.  These are called a person’s “scruples.”

 

2.7.                     To begin with, I must tell you that we as Christians have been given great freedom in Christ.  Freedom from the law, and freedom to walk in love as a higher standard of righteousness than law-keeping...  Paul wrote about this in 1 Cor. 6:12, “12 All things are lawful for me, but not all things are profitable. All things are lawful for me, but I will not be mastered by anything.”  So, a Christian is not one who lives his life trying constantly to keep God’s laws, rather he is supposed to live in the power and under the leading of the Holy Spirit in all areas of his life. 

 

2.8.                     It is also the case, that often in the Christian life that those who appear to be more spiritual are not really so.  Those who are the most stern and austere and try to tow the line with God the most are often doing so in the energy and influence of the flesh.  Thus, in this chapter Paul describes two kinds of Christian brothers, one who is a “weaker brother,” and one who is a “stronger brother.”  Contrary to what we might initially have guessed, the one who is described as a “weaker brother” is actually the one whose conscience is more sensitive to certain kinds of conduct and behavior.

 

2.9.                     Likewise, the “stronger brother” referred to by Paul is the one whose conscience is less sensitive to certain kinds of conduct and behavior because he realizes the freedom that he has in Christ.

 

2.10.                Have you ever heard someone say that it is important to pick your battles wisely?   This chapter reveals similar wisdom regarding what we as Christians allow in our own life as well as how we treat others in the church who do not have our same convictions. 

 

2.11.                This chapter is very similar to 1 Corinthians chapter 10, and both chapters are a commentary to the other.  Both deal with how a Christian should use the freedom which he has in Christ.  In Corinth, and Rome and probably most of the other churches in Paul’s day, there were sharp disagreements between different people and factions within the church, with both carnally judging and condemning the other.

 

2.12.                When Paul wrote this book, in Rome there were “weaker brothers” who were saying that if a person were really serious about his walk with Christ he would worship on Saturday (this group had a Jewish background), and there were other “weaker brothers” who were saying that if you wanted to be serious in your walk with Christ you would be a vegetarian since so many of the meats in the market were sacrificed to idols before entering the market.  The “weaker brothers” were judging the “stronger” ones who understood more clearly the freedom we have in Christ, and the “stronger brothers” were despising the “weaker” ones for being legalistic and a thorn in their side.

 

2.13.                The first exhortation that Paul writes in this verse is to ‘accept the one who is weak in faith.’  Believers are to ‘accept’ one another in the church, and what a blessing it is when brothers and sisters in Christ ‘accept’ you into their fellowship.  Everyone loves to be accepted. 

 

2.14.                Paul previously wrote in chapter 12 that we are all to have the same love for each other in the church, and therefore we should never despise another brother/sister because of either his/her convictions or lack of them, even if the person rubs us the wrong way trying to get us to live his interpretation a more righteous life (as evidenced by what a person “does not” do).  To not ‘accept’ a brother or a sister is to show “distinctions” in the body, which as I have previously written, James in his epistle condemns.

 

2.15.                The exhortation to ‘accept’ a “weaker brother” or sister is given to the “stronger brother” who understands and walks more in the freedom which he has in Christ.  Whether or not we as Christians agree with someone who is condemning us for our actions, we still must accept that brother or sister.

 

2.16.                Paul writes to ‘accept’ the brother or sister, however ‘but not for the purpose of passing judgment on his opinions.’  The exhortation here is that there is a place for keeping your opinions to yourself, for there is a much more important motive for living than spouting opinions, and that is to walk in the love of Christ.  Though disagreements are sure to occur wherever two or more are gathered, the Christian has a higher calling than that of passing judgment upon people through his opinions.  The Christian is to walk in love and love those around him with the agape love of Christ, unconditional love.

 

2.17.                Often times in the church we can find ourselves not working together with each other, being disjointed, and actually undoing what good our brother or sister has done.  We can be judgmental, unloving, contentious, and all in the name of Christ.  We in the church need to look carefully at what Paul writes about in this 14th chapter of Romans so that we can be sure that we are working together with each other and being of one mind, one purpose, under one Lord.

 

2.18.                We Christians need to be warm and friendly with people, especially our brothers and sisters, accepting each one in love.  We need to reach out to our brothers and sisters in love and show them our genuine love and concern.  We need to help build them up in their faith, and do whatever we can in order to not be a source of causing them to stumble in their faith.

 

2.19.                We Christians need to be careful not to argue unnecessarily with one another, for arguing often separates friends and distances acquaintances.  We should not look at our conversations in the church as opportunities for us to spread our opinions, but rather look at them as opportunities for real fellowship and building up of each other in love.

 

2.20.                When we Christians go to other countries, we often discover that there are very real cultural distinctives which the churches in the various countries have turned into rules of conduct expected of all who are spiritually mature.  We also can see that many things that churches in America deem as sinful conduct are done by Christians without any hesitation in other countries.  For instance, if we were to go to a Christian home in France we might discover that several different wines are served to all at every dinner.  Likewise, we might find that in some countries that smoking has no stigma attached to it whatsoever.  Reading biographies of great men of God, we sometimes find a Spurgeon or C.S. Lewis who smoked cigars, or a G. Campbell Morgan who smoked a pipe.  God has used people greatly who didn’t have the same scruples as we have- we Christians must recognize this.

 

3.     VS 14:2  - 2 One man has faith that he may eat all things, but he who is weak eats vegetables only. -  Paul tells us that some brothers and sisters have faith to eat all kinds of foods but that the one who is weak eats vegetables only

 

3.1.                     I would have you to consider for a moment what the scriptures tell us about whether we can or cannot eat meat, for we know that just as was the case in Paul’s day, in our day there are some Christians who believe that it is wrong to eat meat of any type :

 

3.1.1.  In the book of Genesis, Gen. 1:29-30, God told Adam and Eve that everything which He had created was good for food, “29 Then God said, “Behold, I have given you every plant yielding seed that is on the surface of all the earth, and every tree which has fruit yielding seed; it shall be food for you; 30 and to every beast of the earth and to every bird of the sky and to every thing that moves on the earth which has life, I have given every green plant for food”; and it was so.” 

 

3.1.2.  God repeated the same directive as above to Noah after the flood in Genesis 9:3, “3 “Every moving thing that is alive shall be food for you; I give all to you, as I gave the green plant.” 

 

3.1.3.  Likewise, at the first Jerusalem council of the church in Acts 15:20, it was decided by the apostles and James, the pastor of Jerusalem, that there should be no extra burden added to the Gentile Christians who had come to know God through faith in Christ than “...that they abstain from things contaminated by idols and from fornication and from what is strangled and from blood.”  There were no Jewish dietary laws which were tacked on to the list of things that all Christians were to abstain from.

 

3.2.                     So, if you as a Christian do not desire to eat meat or believe that it is wrong for you to eat meat, that is your own personal decision, and no one should judge you for it.  However, you should also realize that the scriptures themselves do not condemn the one who is not a vegetarian, and thus you should not condemn someone else who eats meat.

 

3.3.                     Paul writes in this verse ‘one man has faith that he may eat all things,’ meaning that one brother or sister believes that it does not damage his relationship with God if he goes ahead and eats meat, even if the meat had previously been sacrificed to an idol.  This is the “stronger brother” who can do this.  The “weaker brother” may have come out of heathen idolatry, and for him to eat meat that had been sacrificed to an idol would be to actually enter into worship of that idol.

 

3.4.                     So, Paul writes here that the “weaker brother” is one who ‘eats vegetables only’ since for him he could not eat any meat which has been or may have been sacrificed to an idol.  The “weaker brother” feels that if a person wants to be really spiritual, then he must be careful about abstaining from external matters of conduct.  He probably feels that it would be a damning sin for him to eat food if that food had been sacrificed to an idol.

 

4.     VS 14:3  - 3 Let not him who eats regard with contempt him who does not eat, and let not him who does not eat judge him who eats, for God has accepted him. -  Paul tells s that the one who eats meat should not regard with contempt him who does not and visa versa

 

4.1.                     In this verse, Paul exhorts the Christians not to judge another brother or sister who does not have the same scruples of conscience concerning foods which you have, and also not to have ‘contempt’ for one who has passed his judgmental opinion upon you.  Both responses are damaging and wrong, and both are a violation of walking according to God’s agape love.

 

5.     VS 14:4  - 4 Who are you to judge the servant of another? To his own master he stands or falls; and stand he will, for the Lord is able to make him stand. -  Paul tells us that we are not to judge the servant of another

 

5.1.                     Paul gives a very practical exhortation in this verse.  He writes and asks a rhetorical question which is in essence really stating that a person has no right to ‘judge’ another Christian because that person does not belong to you as your servant or slave, but rather that person is the servant or slave of someone else, namely, the Lord.

 

5.2.                     Each of us as Christians must give account of our own life before the Lord.  We are not going to give account for anyone else’s life or works on the day of judgment for believers, we will only give account for our own life.

 

5.3.                     It is interesting that Paul throws it into this verse that even the brother or sister whose conscience is greatly different than ours is a person to whom the Lord will make able to stand in his walk with Christ.  I have noticed over time that some of the people that I once though would never make it in ministry have ended up serving and doing great things beyond my wildest imagination.  God is committed to building up and to using each of His children, even though we may not have the ability to see their potential.

 

5.4.                     One person has said that when Christ is Lord of our life, then we aren’t too worried about what some other Christian is or is not doing, we are more concerned about what our life looks like to the Lord.  Likewise, the more mature a person becomes in his Christian walk, the more he points the finger at himself and not at other’s actions.

 

5.5.                     We Christians must always realize that whenever we judge someone else, we do not know the whole story about them nor all the difficulties that they have gone through.  Longfellow once wrote, “If we could only read the secret history of our enemies, we would find in each man’s life, sorrow and suffering enough to disarm all hostility.”  The Indians have a saying that you should not judge someone until you have walked two miles in his moccasins, and I think that proverb establishes a good principle. 

 

5.6.                     Only God is qualified to judge anyone.  There is really even no possible way that we can understand what it would mean to walk in someone else’s moccasins, since we don’t really even know what anyone else’s life is really like.  Therefore, its best to leave all of the judging up to God, and keep our eyes on our own faithfulness in our walk with Christ.

 

5.7.                     If someone lays some guilt trip on you, you should search the scriptures prayerfully and see what God’s Word says on the subject.  Then, when God has spoken to you, follow what you feel He has spoken to you.  But, don’t despise or condemn your brother who doesn’t follow in your footsteps.

 

6.     VS 14:5  - 5 One man regards one day above another, another regards every day alike. Let each man be fully convinced in his own mind. -  Paul tells us that one person will regard one day above anther, yet someone else will regard all days alike, but each of us must be convinced in our own minds

 

6.1.                     Here, Paul writes about the fact that there were some in the church who thought that Christians were commanded to worship on the Sabbath, or seventh day, which was the day designated in the Old Testament.  This would again be the “weaker brother.”  However, the “stronger brother” says that it wouldn’t matter if church were held on any day of the week, for he would still commit to worship on that day, and have no qualms in his conscience.

 

6.2.                     This debate over which day the church ought to worship is still going on today.  The Seventh Day Adventists, for instance, believe that a person should worship on Saturday, and many from that church have felt that if you do not worship on Saturday that you will lose your salvation.

 

6.3.                     When  I first became a Christian I didn’t have any Christian follow up as the guy who led me to Christ was a brand new Christian himself and he wasn’t involved in a church yet.  I had obtained a Bible and started to read it but had lots of unanswered questions.  How I came to understand what the Bible teaches was very different than most.  Whenever any group came and knocked on my door telling me about their church organization I invited them in and studied with them.  JW’s, Mormons, Church of Christ, Seventh Day Adventists, you name it.  After about a year and a half I had started going to this open gym night at a S Baptist church and one night the youth pastor asked me if I might want to attend the church.  I told him that I wasn’t sure if a Christian should worship on Saturday or Sunday and therefore I didn’t think that I could do that.  He simply quoted Col. 2:16-17 to me, “16 Therefore no one is to act as your judge in regard to food or drink or in respect to a festival or a new moon or a Sabbath day— 17 things which are a mere shadow of what is to come; but the substance belongs to Christ,” and the Holy Spirit spoke so strongly to my heart through that verse that I couldn’t even speak for a few minutes.  The Lord revealed to me the truth in that verse that what day you worship on is not of great importance, what is important, or as Paul calls it, “the substance,” belongs to Christ.  That next Sunday I was in church and the next week I was rooming with a couple of guys from the church, and the rest is history so to speak.

 

6.4.                     Paul gives the exhortation to each Christian to ‘let each man be fully convinced in his own mind.’  A Christian should search the Word of God and be prayerful regarding what he does and does not accept in his life.

 

6.5.                     Each of us as Christians have the responsibility to search out God’s Word and be in prayer about what we do and do not accept into our life regarding these controversial issues, and having come to the convictions concerning what we feel that the Lord has shown us, we must follow our conscience.  I tell people not to take my word for anything I teach but to search out the scriptures prayerfully themselves.  Each of us need to be persuaded in our own minds by the Lord as to what we are to believe.

 

6.6.                     What Paul is stating in this chapter is that we should not go out and try to bug everyone else around us to accept our opinions and what we feel our conscience dictates to us, for this would not be walking in love.

 

7.     VS 14:6-8  - 6 He who observes the day, observes it for the Lord, and he who eats, does so for the Lord, for he gives thanks to God; and he who eats not, for the Lord he does not eat, and gives thanks to God. 7 For not one of us lives for himself, and not one dies for himself; 8 for if we live, we live for the Lord, or if we die, we die for the Lord; therefore whether we live or die, we are the Lord’s. -  Paul tells us that the person who is observing a day and the one who eats is doing so for the Lord

 

7.1.                     In these verses, Paul expresses the fact that whatever a Christian does he is to be doing it for the Lord and because he feels that the Lord wants him to be doing it.  Whether it is eating meat or not, worshipping on the Sabbath or not, etc., each Christian is to do what he does for the Lord and because he feels that he is doing what the Lord wants him to be doing.

 

7.2.                     In verse 8, Paul writes that a Christian is to not only live for the Lord, but he is to be obedient to the Lord to the point that if he must die for the Lord, that he will do it.  Whatever a Christian does in his life, it is to be done for the Lord, in obedience to the Lord, and under the Lord’s leading.

 

7.3.                     We Christians must realize that even our opinions must be given over to the Lord.  We must seek the Lord about everything that we do in life, and we must be obedient to what He shows us, for our life belongs to Him, and it is to be lived for Him.

 

8.     VS 14:9  - 9 For to this end Christ died and lived again, that He might be Lord both of the dead and of the living. -  Paul tells us that Christ died and lived again that He might be the Lord of the dead and of the living

 

8.1.                     We Christians have hope beyond the grave, and Jesus will be our Lord and master even after this temporal earthly life is over.

 

9.     VS 14:10-12  - 10 But you, why do you judge your brother? Or you again, why do you regard your brother with contempt? For we shall all stand before the judgment seat of God. 11 For it is written, “As I live, says the Lord, every knee shall bow to Me, And every tongue shall give praise to God.” 12 So then each one of us shall give account of himself to God. -  Paul asks the rhetorical question of why we would judge our brother or treat our brother with contempt since each of us is going to stand before the judgment seat of Christ and give an account of ourselves to the Lord

 

9.1.                     In these verses, Paul exhorts the Christians again not to judge their brothers and sisters in the church since each of us has enough to worry about in the fact that we shall each give account of ourselves to the Lord on the judgment day of believers.  We would do well to really concentrate upon our own walk since this is the case, for if we would spend our energies in that pursuit we will reap the consequences for eternity.

 

9.2.                     The Christian’s judgment day of standing before the Lord will not be a judgment of condemnation for sins, for those have already been paid, but rather a judgment day of rewards for works done after salvation.  Paul talked about the judgment day of rewards for believers in 2 Cor. 5:9-10, “9 Therefore also we have as our ambition, whether at home or absent, to be pleasing to Him. 10 For we must all appear before the judgment seat of Christ, that each one may be recompensed for his deeds in the body, according to what he has done, whether good or bad.”

 

9.3.                     We Christians must realize the fact that what we do in this life will reap consequences which will affect us for eternity, for zillions of years and even more.  We ought to be people who are storing up treasures in heaven which we will be able to enjoy for eternity.  Paul knew that he had been given eternal life, and that to spend eternity with God would be a tremendous blessing, yet after the experience he relates in one of his letters of being taken up to the third heaven and being in God’s very presence, he spent the rest of his life trying to lay up for himself eternal treasures and crowns.

 

10.            CONCLUSIONS :

 

10.1.                As we consider this study and how that we ought to apply it to our lives, it is important for us to consider whether or not we are guilty of judging people unfairly and by appearances.  There is a Russian proverb that states, “When you meet a man, you judge him by his clothes; when you leave, you judge him by his heart.”  Lets not be found guilty of judging someone whom we really haven’t even tried to understand and know.  If we will try to understand our brother or sister we will find that we agree upon much more than we disagree upon.

 

10.2.                It is OK for you to have convictions that are not black and white from the scriptures, in fact we are told to each be persuaded in our minds about these sort of things, however lets not then judge others who do not hold the convictions that we hold.

 

10.3.                If you find that you are being judged by another because of not meeting up with his own convictions of conscience, don’t then turn around and despise that brother/sister.  Instead, love him/heri  and pray for him/her and try also to understand and accept them as a brother/sister.

 

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